Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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