Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
