you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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