week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
