...so i touched it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
