did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize