yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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