I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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