i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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