I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
