pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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