All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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