she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
