i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
