New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
