I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
