I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
