i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
handjob tips. give me some.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
