I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
