party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize