I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize