Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
