Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
