I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
