Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
