Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
