i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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