great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
