I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize