She said her name was "party"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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