We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize