I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
