every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
