Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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