What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
