Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am available for nakedness
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
