i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
