Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
