Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
not ubering you a puppy
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
