so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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