I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
everyone is single if you try hard enough
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
