Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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