Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize