Jerry, you need to find god
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize