You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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