We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
