hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
