I just made out with a guy for $7.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
