TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
