Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
