There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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