No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
