Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The Olympian is in my bed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
