somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
