Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
