You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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