ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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