Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
