so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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