How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
please come you make the beer taste better
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
