"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
birth control should be required to get into college
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
