I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
