if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
