Joe is yelling at the trees again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
