i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
