whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
