your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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